Parents today are grieving a childhood their kids will never have

Bright blue skies with beautiful, fluffy white clouds. Freshly watered grass that smelled reminiscent of watermelon. Surf and travel-themed t-shirts in fun colors. Ice cream trucks carrying real ice cream, not just soft-serve and popsicles. Fireflies everywhere. Grasshoppers. Crickets. The symphony of summer nights was louder. And, the days felt longer…

Today, summer starts early and ends later. Brutal humidity, often washed-out sky, fewer trees, largely sanitized or "environmentally clean”. Neighbors hardly know each other, kids mostly indoors, digitally connected, and under supervised settings.

While some individuals lose hope for the future and choose not to marry or have children, parents will always choose a hopeful future because they are parents. For them, the priority is always their children’s safety, security, and growth. And for all of this to be met, their children need nourishment for both mind and body.

They really want to give their kids unstructured play, help them live life outside screens, and give them the freedom they need

But what blocks them is a loss of control. Not over their kids, but over the conditions around them, which are dependent on so many external forces.

And it is hard to deny that today’s landscape keeps everyone on alert.

Gun violence, political uncertainty, work-life strain, climate change, and technology woven into everyday life make it difficult to move with clarity and conviction, and instead invite a constant state of anxiety.

We also have to admit that fragmented attention is not just our kids’ problem. It is shaping all of us and affecting our decisions, too.

It might be triggering to accept, but we are not prioritizing well.

We overschedule their days with no space for unstructured play. We fill their boredom with screens or activities out of guilt. We avoid the inner healing work tied to generational trauma. And we even neglect the community to the point that many of us hardly talk to our neighbors anymore.

We have been anxious for a long time now. We should give ourselves a chance to parent from freedom rather than control, from faith rather than fear, and from facts rather than jaded opinion.

And the fact is that today’s generation is struggling to build resilience. Instant gratification makes it harder for them to learn discernment, and less interaction in informal or unstructured settings leaves fewer opportunities to practice self-regulation.

Fundamentally, we, as parents, are also not being vigilant about what we feed ourselves through the food we eat, the content we consume, the discussions we participate in, and the company we keep. These subtle factors accumulate breeding anxiety. What we consume is what we become-this is nothing new ( it is clinically proven ).

And, we cannot allow ourselves to pass down anxiety to the next generation. And many of them agree and have already started taking the initiative.

Today’s parents have started challenging themselves and their kids to foster mutual growth. They are using this summer as an opportunity to recreate a ’90s summer and witness the change.

They are asking their kids to come home when the streetlights turn on, giving them rocks instead of toys to play with, hose water to drink, dirt to soothe their pain, and permission to be restless with boredom. They are even making friends with other parents.

Bringing the ’90s summer back does not mean the parents then always had all the answers to their problems, and certainly does not mean we are not acknowledging the great things about the current generation. It is about being more inclusive.

It is about us taking accountability today so they can have an emotionally regulated adulthood tomorrow.

And going back, bringing the 90s summer for their child, seems like a humble start to navigate forward.

P.S. If you liked this, share it with your friends and colleagues. Rebuild